omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We got so high we made milksteak
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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