Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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