Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
