ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
