Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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