i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
