Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize