Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
