Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
