like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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