I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
