Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
