We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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