that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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