where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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