Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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