cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
