Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
