im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this boner is exhausting
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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