everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
