I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize