Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize