I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
