So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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