I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
