You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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