I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
