Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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