sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
barbara walters just said penis...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
