Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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