i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
