as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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