eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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