can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
