i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
