Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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