Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize