I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
