If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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