We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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