I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
