I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
