Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
