He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
