We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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