I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
