If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
