I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I currently don't understand fingers.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
