I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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