the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
