I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
