I wanna bring you to show and tell
Non-Jews are for practice
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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