If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
