New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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