My room smells like vodka and shame
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've blown a few things in my day
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
