It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
