do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
