I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
