Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
