well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize