I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
