I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
