if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
