What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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