i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
