Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
